Nina - The Woman my Mother Loves and Hates

Nina, my mother's cleaning woman, comes every other Tuesday. She is INCREDIBLY annoying. (Note that I called her my mother's cleaning woman, because everyone else would kick her to the curb so fast your head would spin.)

Here is a list of annoying things about her. (Note this is only the short list, as a full list would take hours to read, and weeks to write.)

1. When she comes to wake you up to kick you out of your room so she can "clean" it, she yells in the most shrill, annoying voice ever. "Joooooohnnnny, it's time Nina clean now... you have go!!!!!" I woke up to that voice many times. It is not a nice feeling. It's a bad feeling. Jimmy had a bad dream about it once.

2. She has a list of specific cleaning products she leaves for my mother, who has to go buy those specific products and leave them in a specific place in the garage. The "Nina" shelf. If that area of the garage is disturbed, Nina (angrily) gripes about it, and my parents are so scared of her that if so much as a single bottle of 409 has been moved three inches to the left, questions will be asked.

3. Last summmer when gas prices spiked up, Nina demanded an extra $20 per week as a gas surcharge. Mind you, she's driving about eight miles to get here. Her exact comment was, "Debbie, all my other clients just offered to pay it without Nina asking. I don't think it will hurt you." Of course, now that gas prices have gone back down, do you suppose Nina repealed the gas surcharge? Of course not.

4. Each Monday night before Nina comes, we all have to listen to a lecture by my mother about how Nina is coming tomorrow, so for God's sake don't do this or that or the other thing. Then each Tuesday when you come home, it's Nina cleaned today, don't do this that or the other thing.

Example of this...

When she vacuums in the family room, it leaves these little lines in the carpet. So if anyone steps on the carpet in that room after it's been vacuumed, it ruins the lines and leaves tiny footprints in the carpet. My mother loves those lines. To her, they are physical manifestations of a clean home, a clean soul, and a life well lived.

So no one is allowed to walk in that room for several days after Nina has been there. Because that would create a tapestry of footsteps, and fade the perfectly straight lines into oblivion. And it's very annoying sometimes to have to walk all the way around the other side of that room to get to the kitchen.

Just as a tip, here is a little something I copied from a mental health website:

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental disorder most commonly characterized by intrusive, repetitive thoughts resulting in compulsive behaviors and mental acts that the person feels driven to perform, according to rules that must be applied rigidly, aimed at reducing anxiety by preventing some dreaded event or by resolving a more nebulous sense of tension.

Something to think about.

5. My mother is horrified of Nina. She won't ask her to change any routine, and she quickly leaps into action if Nina asks for something. She once hauled the vacuum into ther car and brought it to be repaired, same day, because Nina scolder her for not having done it earlier, even though there was another perfectly good vacuum. Also, my mom hides from Nina while she's here. She literally sneaks, on tipped toes, to a new room so Nina won't see her. Why is it ok to be afraid of your cleaning woman?

That's enough for now.